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Not sleep a wink all night

Do not know how the. Although the long sleep are not always very good, but this sleepless night, toss and turn restlessly but first experience. When I look at the white wall gradually with the shadow, the heart can not help but smile, so personally. "Sunrise" feeling is so beautiful. I stretch my hands, on the wall or circle, watching his hand shadow flash flash, mother daythe window is not very bright light, the kind of slightly weak beats, silent. Remember the host Cui Yongyuan talking about the depression period when the state, he said, every day to see the dawn is a very painful thing. Now I can finally experience insomnia this feeling. Think of the woman writer Yan Geling, once for 30 consecutive days painful. I had to close the eyes, stop outside slip in sunshine, continue the endless silence without substance" shallow sleep".
Mind is a mess, I opened my eyes, everything was gone. As if those ideas are a dream only come out at night, when I want to catch it, it has disappeared. It is passing streams, when I reach out my hands to hold her, only to let it slip through your fingers.
Time time, why do you walk so slow, so slow I hear my breathing, my heart, let me count the table pointer on a step by step forward. But, why do you go so fast, a blink of an eye, it is night, a look back, now a days.
Who can in this silent night listening to the voice of the city? Outside the sky, I do not think the starry sky above, just a piece of red sky. I listen to those going on the road car sound, think of all the people in the busy, even if it is a lonely night. A strange city, the cool water at night, my good fortune.
Then, I think of the past used. With this strange city become attached to already had four years many, but never see her night. When the night sky is very narrow, the line of sight is just across from the building, pink curtains. People there have been in, where the story has already walked through, each doing his bulk. I put the four year night lost, can not return.
Remember that once here rental days. The window is busy from morning till night, elevated bridge, vehicle continuously. When the room is always outside the street was slow, a brilliant. When the night has not had a "peace " concept, but also enjoy the sweet. Because I know that, in this strange city in this small corner, my dream hasn't finished forming.
Now, every day and every night, I still hear everything, noise, or quiet, but never again see the heart of that peace and indifference. I always inexplicably to think a lot, some not. He grew more and more chaotic, is not a reason why, and insomnia.
I fear in the night a person's loneliness and silence. Heaven knows, usually in the quiet he had so afraid of the silence. All are not absolute, generally the opposite. When I in addition to quiet no choice when, only to find that the" static" is not a beautiful existence. Maybe I can try to understand why the Americans making sound effects high up to 99.9%, no one can reside for long. That kind of listening to my own heart, listen to your mind works and the beating heart feeling, is really scary. But the loneliness, only in my hand to the sky nothing out of touch, what exploration left, so I think people is so helpless.
The next morning, my night is over. Staggered not awake, I can only hold a Jushui pat face to wake up a little, because I know,PC remote a new day has come in my count, I still have a lot of not doing things waiting for me to do. I always want to plan the full list, to those who you want to do but have been unable to do a go finish. And then I thought, is it right? I should go for a walk, is it right? The reading?
" Reconcile oneself to one's situation", this is the night linger in the mind of the word. I don't know where I want to tell yourself what, perhaps is to abandon those who do not, polished to what I have. This attitude towards life, is my subconscious to look for?
by newday09 | 2012-04-27 18:33

透明な心と涙目があり、また信じる勇気を与えてくれることを祈ります


by newday09